Jia Park entered South Korea in 2006. After arriving, Ms Park took over a successful business, the North-South Marriage Information Company. Although there are many companies that arrange meetings between female defectors and South Korean men, Ms Park has built on her personal strengths and first-hand knowledge to lead the firm, which is stable and now heading into its seventh year of operation under her leadership. Ms Park pays careful attention to the smallest details. For instance, when she creates dating plans and gives style advice, she considers the fact that most defectors are not yet accustomed to South Korean culture The firm also provides periodic advice to women after they marry, helping them to navigate marital troubles. Despite a grueling schedule and constant phone calls, Ms Park said that she “enjoys every single day at [her] job.”
The North-South Marriage Information Company was up and running for 12 years before Ms Park took over, and she was initially hesitant to assume the leadership position. She considers connecting people to one another to be a significant responsibility. While most couples end up living happily ever-after, some will get divorced. The burden to prevent that outcome looms large over Ms Park, who understands the mentality of defectors intimately and wants to avoid causing them additional pain.
The primary reason Ms Park decided to helm the company was because she witnessed many North Korean women adjust to life faster in the South after marrying South Korean men. Compared to their northern counterparts, South Korean men usually bring more vitality to the relationship, and so they make attractive partners for female defectors. “North-South marriages don’t come together without hard work, but when both sides work to understand the other, they both tend to become happier,” Ms Park said.
Happiness through understanding
What sorts of issues do these couples contend with? Some of the South Korean men who visit the office misunderstand North Korea. They are told that “the North Korean regime is bad, but not all the people are.” However, some cannot suppress their prejudices. Ms Park explained, saying, “The biggest problem is when visitors treat the women as strange foreigners.”
Ms Park also explained the kinds of problems that arise after marriage, and recalled that her own in-laws thought that she was somehow damaged because she came from North Korea. “North Korean women need to work really hard to re-settle successfully in the South. To overcome prejudices, both sides need to really try,” she noted.
When asked about the women’s preferences, Ms Park said that the most popular men are not the richest, but those who are generous of spirit and kind-hearted, saying, “If the man isn’t capable of understanding his wife’s feelings, it doesn’t matter how rich he is. North Korean defectors need someone who can embrace them when they are feeling down.”
As more and more North-South couples emerge and each side learns more about the other, even faraway goals like unification begin to look more tangible. “If more people become directly connected to the idea of unification through their loved ones, there will be greater yearning for it. I feel pride in my work when I can act as a bridge connecting these two groups,” Ms Park added.
“Over the course of my involvement in this work, many families have been formed. I feel so lucky to be involved. In the future, I want to work hard to continue bringing happy families together and contribute to greater understanding.”
*This article has been brought to you thanks to support from the Korea Press Foundation.
