After understanding my outlook on the world, the history of society and life based on human-centered philosophical principles, I was able to clear the doubts I had once had. My satisfaction was indescribable.
When I tried again to read the most difficult part of Marx’s writings, I could clearly understand where the flaws in his theory had come from, so my fantasy about his theory faded away. An assistant of mine, an economics expert whom I had invited, boasted that he had read “Das Kapital” seven times and still had doubts about the principles of my new philosophical idea. One day I asked him if he could understand “Das Kapital” completely.
"Of course not, there are still some parts I cannot understand."
"Bring me any difficult classics of Marxism if you cannot understand,” I told him. “Depending on the situation, I might not be able to explain it right on the spot, but I'm sure I can elucidate it in a day."
After that, he came to me with questions about Marxism several times. Whenever he did so, I gave him clear answers. During that process, he acknowledged the truth of my philosophical theory.
When I opened Hegel's “The Science of Logic” again, I could presume its flaws just by reading the footnotes. Once I also read my notes on the special lectures by the program chairman in Russia, which I had had difficulty understanding once; I immediately got which parts were wrong.
I couldn’t express how happy I was when I could make as much free time as I wanted. I had always been concerned about my lack of time to study before. For six months, I concentrated on writing, so focused that if someone had fired a gunshot right beside me, I wouldn't have heard it. Sometimes I did encounter difficult issues, but when I went back to the starting point of that issue and focused on it over one night, my mind cleared up and I saw the path right in front of me, as if the hazy fog had lifted. I had sometimes felt that I could see to the far end of the universe when I closed my eyes.